Tales from the Spa: Pain is Not Pleasure & Other Stories (Part 1)

Isn't it such a wonderful treat to luxuriate in a glorious body massage after a tiring day?  To let the soothing atmosphere take all your worries away in a cloud of lavender and eucalyptus?  I think I've always been a spa junkie and looked forward to my appointments with appropriate gusto and giddiness.  Admittedly, I was anxious about the obvious concerns the first time I ever went to the spa.  What if I'm hopelessly ticklish and burst into uncontrollable laughter?  What if I pass gas and there's no one nearby I can pin it on?  I've obviously overcome these reservations, or have simply chosen to buck up, in the name of some pampering.

You pressed too hard.

What happens though when the trip to the spa doesn't turn out as well as you'd like?  There's going to be some sore complaining, apart from sore muscles, for sure!  I thought I'd go down memory lane and recount those less-than-stellar spa instances - because I can laugh about it now.

1. The test of endurance

My mother in law calls home service massage occasionally to relax and unwind.  My thoughtful husband once suggested we try them out instead of venturing outside and subjecting ourselves to Marcos Highway.  So okay, the call was made, the appointment was set.  The therapists arrived on time and remained jovial despite getting the fright of their lives when they saw Porkchop in the garage.

Jesus take the wheel.

Everything seemed promising and I was already mentally (and gleefully) rubbing my hands at the thought of regular massages in the comfort of our home.  Let's just say, it's never good to be greedy.  In the middle of my massage, when I felt the pressure to be too much for me, I asked the masseuse to ease up on the kneading - you know, which is the standard procedure and actually encouraged in these wellness establishments.  Her response confused me for a while.

Rough translation: Kindly endure.

Wait a minute.  I thought I was getting a relaxing massage!  Nobody said anything about enduring!  Is this karate kid conditioning?  A preparation for some sort of UFC throwdown? It suffices to say that that was the end of home massage.

2. Stop already lah!

During one of our team building activities, my Singaporean officemates decided to use our budget on a movie and foot massage.  In SG, people walk a lot and it's great to treat your tootsies to some TLC now and then.  I can't remember where we went exactly (I think Marina Square?) but I do remember the place was clean and looked harmless enough.  Little did I know, these resident foot therapists had some serious iron grips!  I guess I was expecting a girly foot massage (if there ever was one) - peppermint concoction slathered onto my weary feet, a dip in pleasantly warm and bubbly aromatic water, followed by gentle massage to improve circulation.  Instead, I got some hardcore acupressure that seriously left tears in my eyes.  You know how they say the foot is a miniature representation of our body and that certain parts of our foot correspond to different organs/body parts?

Source

Before this whole experience, I thought of myself as a generally healthy 20-something.  The afternoon I was subjected to this manhandling, I thought I needed another annual physical exam!

End the suffering.

(To be continued...)